Unequal exchanges - Los Angeles Times
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Unequal exchanges

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A new study appears to shed some light on why holiday gift-giving may be such a touchy matter and why your mother-in-law is still angry that you missed last year’s holiday get-together.

Researchers from the University of Chicago conducted a series of experiments with college students and people in downtown Chicago to show that, in everyday social exchanges, being mean has a lot more impact than being nice. The study is published in the December issue of the journal Psychological Science.

The researchers conducted five experiments in which people played games that assigned them as givers or takers and allowed them to reciprocate acts of giving or taking. They found the positive action of giving is reciprocated in comparable measure, whereas the negative action of taking is reciprocated more harshly, which may trigger an escalation of negative social exchanges.

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According to the study authors, reciprocity is crucial for maintaining social order and is central to many areas of social life -- not to mention world peace.

The study suggests that the harm done by taking something cannot be undone by simply giving something comparable in return. “The culturally conferred wisdom about reciprocity appears to be miscalibrated and in need of revision,” the authors wrote. “You scratch my back, and I will scratch yours, but if you take my eye, I will take both of yours.”

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