A warlock, a jet, part tiger: Things Charlie Sheen has claimed to be

The quote: “We work for the pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people.” -- Feb. 24 on “The Alex Jones Show”  (Sheen / Getty Images; Lord Voldemort from “The Harry Potter” series / Warner Bros.)

The quote: “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” -- Feb. 28 on “Good Morning America”  (Sheen / Associated Press; marijuana leaf flag / Mark Boster, Los Angeles Times)

The quote: If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from this terrestrial realm.” -- Feb. 28 on ABC  (Sheen in the late ‘90s / Associated Press; Nevada 375 / Associated Press)